Wisdom from Sri Sri

Bad Antogast, German ashram, Dec. 25:

Q. Can a relationship enhance or suppress your spiritual growth?

Sri Sri: Yes, both can happen. If your partner is also on the path and understands you, it can enhance you both. If one is in doubt, the partner will help you to get over the doubt. If one is not doing the practice, the other one will pull them to do the practice and give them encouragement. Make them move on the spiritual path, so that much help comes from that. I have seen many couples - when one is going astray from the path, the other will pull them back onto the path. Because of the sake of the wife or husband, they continue being on the path, on the knowledge, on the spiritual path. This I have seen happening in many, many families. Though, on the contrary, if both go in different directions and if one of them is not really on the path, it can be a hindrance for the other. It can be, though not necessarily.

Q. What is the secret to having a strong will power? Please tell me as I have so many bad habits that I would like to change about myself.

Sri Sri: Now, three things can help you to get over bad habits.1. Love- If you love somebody or something, then promise them for their sake that you will continue the good habits.2. Fear - When there is a fear that this bad habit is going to bring great problems to me, then you will get out of it.3. Greed - If someone tells you that by leaving this bad habit, you will get a million dollars, you would not do that (the bad habit), you want a million dollars in your pocket. If someone tells you, don’t drink or smoke for the next one week, then you will be entitled to one million dollars. Will you smoke, will you drink? No ways! If someone tells you that you will get 10 million dollars or 10 million euros if you don’t smoke for one month or 30 days, they will say, ‘Why only 30 days? I will not smoke for 35 days. I am sure of the number of days, as I want to be sure. Not 29 days. Some months are only 30, some are 31, so let me do for the maximum of 35 days’. Because you know, when you value some thing much more than the habit and you know that you are going to get that, then the habit will drop out of it. So through love, fear or greed you will stop doing it. You know, promiscuity has reduced to a great extent because of the fear of AIDS. After the dreadful disease of AIDS started appearing, then promiscuity came down to a great extent. So similarly, commitment to a higher cause can help you get over small little attractions.

Q. Whenever I come in the ashram, it feels like I am in love with everyone here, but when you go outside, it is hard to maintain this feeling. When peopleare not open, they embrace the feeling of love . It is hard to feel love for them. Why is it so, how to love everyone?

Sri Sri: You know, you feel love but don’t get attached to it ok, and don’t try to feel love for others. Love is a gift. If it is there , it is there, if it is not there, it is not there You cannot force yourself to love somebody. Can you impose? If you do it, it will be contrary to what is. You just be relaxedand go deep in the knowledge and suddenly one day, you will find that all are part of me and everybody is same. Then love is not a verb, it’s not an action.You don’t have to love somebody, you are love, you will understand that love is a noun. You are simply there as a sparkling love. And that’s it. Yes, obviously, it’s not the give-and-take love of which you are talking about. You love somebody and they gave you something. Here people radiate that peaceso it is easy. They know all the basic course points of acceptance and not to be football and all these things. Definitely, it is much easier here and our job is to make the world like this so that anywhere in the world, it becomes much easier. All over the world, people say, ‘Art of Living people have a smileon the faces’. There is a certain radiance, a certain confidence, a certain smile which is unparalleled. People comment on that all the time.

Q. Dear Guruji, why do we cry in your presence?

Sri Sri: When the heart opens, tears flow. It’s quite natural .When heart opens and these are not bitter or salty tears, they are sweet tears. These aretears of love, of gratitude. So let it be. Don’t try to stop it or don’t try to enhance it, just let it be.

Q. How do I know that I am in a right relationship or the person is right for me? Or I am right for the other? Many thanks.

Sri Sri: Listen to one thing now, you are right for the other person when you can adjust. Relationship means adjustment, it is giving. You give what you can to the other person and wait for them to give back to you. If you are demanding from the others, the relationship is not going to last long. Demand destroys the love. Demand and blame destroys relationships. So, you should only know how to praise others and uplift a situation instead of blaming, finding fault. Uplift the other, this should be your commitment . Then you are the right person for anybody, and everybody will love you when you don’t hurt them intentionally. This is the first point. Number one.Second, you are open to correction and changes, you have the patience to listen to criticism.Three things, I am counting. You have patience to take in criticism. Fourth, you know the other persons’ point of view, or where the shoe pinches, you know. You should see the other person beyond their words and their actions.You know, when someone is working for 8 to 10 hours, when they come back home, they are very tired. If he is a businessman and when the stock markets fall, he is so upset and he comes home to find solace. So you should see the circumstance, situations, how the spouse is and allow them the space to express their genuine feelings of frustrations, anger whatever.

You know, there is only one option when a person is angry or is frustrated. The whole world expects them to keep the frustration to themselves, no one wants to share their frustration, but when they come home it is with their spouse. They explode and express and show all their frustration. At that time, the spouse should be there like a midwife - allow them to deliver. When someone is in labor pain, and if you say, ‘Don’t deliver, keep it, keep it, keep the babyinside.’ What can they do? How long can they keep it inside? Somewhere they have to explode. When they come with their stress, the spouse should allow them to express. Say, ‘Ok, download it. Download. Let go of all your stresses, ok whatever you want to blame, blame. You want to beat me or beat yourself, do it’.Then, you know, keep that type of space for them to un-stress and download. What you can say is ‘Let go of all that you have carried all the day, all the stress of the stock market or whatever else.’ If a person commits a mistake in the work place or injustice is done to him or her, they come back and they want some place to offload it. Offload is the right word I think, offload all that thing and one must keep that space for them to offload. Understand why there are upset, why they are unhappy - then your relationship will work. But if you expect them not to tell anything, be nice to you all the 24 hours, seven days a week and 365 days and find fault with them all the time.

Pricking them that ‘You are useless, you are hopeless, you are this, that...’ Poor lady or man! What will they do? They find that they have no support. Nobody is helping them to grow, helping them, uplifting them and then they get depressed. Right? So first, we will see. Greater is the person who has greater capacity to absorb, accommodate, adjust with anybody. If you can adjust with anybody, that much greater you are, you know and the degree can come less, less, less. If you know your acceptability is only 10 percent, then you are thoroughly miserable if it zero percent. There is no way you can grow in your life. Wisdom is to have this patience, grow from zero to one hundred percent.  

Q. I don’t understand why we are here, why are we here for such a short time? Why do we have to grow old and weak? How do I stop wanting and needing others’ approval and love?

Sri Sri: This is a good question - why am I here, what do I do? Keep asking. When you keep asking these questions, either you go crazy or you become wise. I wish you become the latter, become much wiser, ok? Don’t tell me crazy people are very wise. It’s the other way round - wise people are sometime crazy too.

Q. Dearest Guruji, I am so fortunate to be on a path like this with you. I want more people to get this experience and be more happy by living in the knowledge and practicing the technique. But some people are not willing to be approached nor understand when I would like to share. So how to speed this tothe people who are in need? Maybe their time has just not come.

Sri Sri: No, no don’t think their time has not come. You keep doing your work. You keep telling, you don’t have to push everybody but gently you have tofacilitate people to get into the knowledge. Yes, this is necessary.

“That which you cannot express is Love.
That which you cannot reject/renounce is Beauty.
That which you cannot avoid is the Truth.”
~ Sri Sri Ravishankar



© The Art of Living Foundation
For Global Spirituality

Bangalore ashram, Dec. 12:
Q: Guruji, many times you have clarified that the Master is the presence and not the physical entity but when I see you I get so mesmerized with your appearance, your actions. Please tell me what to do?
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Simply realize that you appreciate what you have. You are also beautiful. Inside each one of us there is beauty. We all have all these virtues inside us. Some virtues are manifested and some will soon manifest.
Q: Guruji, do you have any unfulfilled desires?
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: (After a little pause) Yes, I want to see millions of people smiling and all these conflicts in the world to end. There should be no war. WAR itself means ‘Worst Act of Reason’. People who are involved in war give reasons to justify their actions but it is actually the worst act of reason. There is so much domestic violence in the world today. All this must stop. This can happen when people become more compassionate and understanding.
Q: To break the cycle of birth and death we have to attain mukti/liberation, then why do enlightened masters reincarnate?
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: With one goal - to help those who are in need and on the other hand just to play.
Q: Is it ok to pray for a peaceful end to the life of a person with Parkinson’s syndrome?
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Whenever someone suffers, the people around him or her are the ones who suffer more than the person. The family of a mentally retarded child suffers much more than the child himself. That child is in a different paradigm of mind. Nature gives the strength to endure the suffering and walk through with strength. An animal is given only that heavy a tail, which it can wag. Just imagine a rat having the tail of an elephant. Nature is very intelligent. It only gives you that problem which you can handle.
 Q: Guruji, I read somewhere that chanting OM is not good for women. Please elaborate.
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Maybe some man has written that book! (laughter) Perhaps they are afraid that women may become more powerful, intelligent, independent and stronger than men. All this is not true. In the Middle Ages, some people spread this message with the selfish motive of keeping the knowledge only to themselves.
Q: Can charity grant liberation?
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Charity purifies wealth.Ghee/clarified butter purifies food.Knowledge purifies the intellect. Bhajan purifies the mind &Service purifies the action.
Q: What is the difference between self–respect and ego? If someone says harsh words to you, it hurts. Is that ego or self-respect?
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Nobody can take away your self–respect. If it pinches you then that is due to ego or your foolishness. When someone is harsh to you, it is ok to be hurt but then you should also know how to rise above that. It is because of knowledge that we can come out of that feeling of hurt.
Q: If everything is pre-decided, then what is the need for karma/ action?
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: We cannot live without karma. All is pre-decided for an animal but not for a human. Some things are pre-decided and some are not. If everything was pre-decided, why would we be doing bhajans here? It would be no different than being an animal then. Humans have responsibilities to fulfill and humans take on responsibility. An animal has neither any responsibility nor any demand. Humans have freedom as well as an intellect.
Q: What is difference between accepting people as they are and labeling them as they are?
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: You tell me the answer. If you really want an answer then sit and think about it. If in your mind this question has arisen, the answer will also come. You have some notion of acceptance in your mind and some other notion of labeling. That’s why you are using two different words. You won’t ask the difference between ‘Kela’ (banana in Hindi) and ‘Banana’. When we ask the difference we already know what that difference is. You already know in your mind and a little introspection will give you the answer.
Q: I see some images during meditation. Is that ok?
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: There is no need to pay attention to that. It is just an experience. In Kriya or meditation you may hear something, see some images or visions but all these come and go. It is a form of stress release.
Q: In one of your books you have said religion is like the banana peel and spirituality is the fruit inside. Does that mean one who is spiritual has nothing to do with religion?
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Religion is inevitable. You have a religion since birth. Your name only conveys the religion to which you belong. Your name, marriage all this is part of religion. You can’t deny it. Spirituality unites all religions. That is the core value of all religions.
Q: If a relationship is not going smoothly, what to do?
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Well, I am not an expert to answer this. (Laughter) One thing I can tell you is that you should leave a certain margin in a relationship. The strength of a relationship lies in the ability to accommodate rough patches. How well you handle it gives you skills. Otherwise how do you get to know how accommodating, understanding and considerate you are? These virtues come up only when you have rough patches. See the situation as an opportunity on how to adapt, how to be accommodating, understanding and considerate. You should give a shot to excel in exhibiting your character rather then changing the other person.
Q: Guruji, up to what extent should one sustain a relationship? How much can one bend?
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: You can’t bend too much if the other person is turning violent, taking advantage of you. Then you have to stand up and state clearly. Deal with all of this using your intellect and not your emotions. Conflict is always emotional. Resolution is intellectual. Emotional conflict can’t be dealt with emotions. Similarly an intellectual argument cannot be dealt with the intellect. The emotional side of it has to be considered. If you observe carefully there is a stream of emotions behind an intellectual argument. Life is a fine balance between the emotions and the intellect. When to use what, is the real wisdom. And how do you gain that wisdom? The answer is meditation, meditation and meditation.
Q: Tell us something about ‘nadi shodan’ (alternate nostril) pranayama.
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: There are 1,82,000 nadis/ energy channels in our body. When we breathe, these are activated and that is why we are alive. When we breathe through the left nostril, certain nadis are functioning and others function when we breathe through the right nostril. So when we alternate the breath through the nostrils, certain changes happen in the body and in our system. Our system gets purified. Fresh energy moves in the system and the stress is eliminated. The left nostril activates the functioning of the right brain and vice versa. So when we alternate our breathing, all the brain waves get synchronized. Biochemical changes happen in the body. The Endocrine glands function better and any imbalance in body is rooted out. There are many benefits of pranayama.
Q: Guruji newspapers today are filled with so much vague news here and there. Can’t we have one full page on environment?
H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Do you write articles? I want all those who have good writing skills to sit together and have some collection. We will implement this. The Ashram agricultural department is very successful in controlling pollution and purifying sewage water. We are using some ancient techniques, which have been forgotten. It is surprising to see the results that these techniques have brought about. Sewage water is completely purified, ready to drink and the sewage is turned into manure. Using this method we can clean all sewage plants in all villages across India without chemicals. The Agricultural Department also took a project in Nasik where vegetation was grown using seawater. So all this is possible.
“That which you cannot express is Love.
That which you cannot reject/renounce is Beauty.
That which you cannot avoid is the Truth.”
~ H.H Sri Sri Ravi Shankar



© The Art of Living Foundation